Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Where to start with this mess...

First off I guess I should rip in to the obvious coattail riding of Harry Potters' fame with the "Directed by the same guy as 2 or three of the harry potter movies..." And the persistent inclusion of "Harry Potter" in every press release and ad... Such crap. I knew I should have avoided it on that note alone. When a movie is so ashamed of itself they try too desperately to cling to the fame of another, you know you're in for a world of crap.

So on to the production quality. I have seen better movies made for the Si-Fi channel. Hell I've seen TV episodes spend more time and effort on effects than this movie did. It seemed like the entire film was filmed with really cheap digital cameras... Panning on landscapes lead to a horrible 'jitter' effect usually present when someone forgets to turn off the "steady cam" feature on a digital camera. also worth noting, the opening credits don't even fit on the screen... Most of the effects were used to cover up bad parts of the movie, like acting...

The actors... I am glad they were young. And not the usual 35 year olds trying to pass off as teenagers. But they still sucked. Every line was read in turns, there was no genuine emotion what so ever, when there was emotion, it was so hyper-emotional and fake it actually hurt to watch, like watching a 6th grade play almost.

Plot... Yes, there was a plot.. Was it anything I haven't seen done better about fifty billion times before? no.. It really felt like I was watching a 'FedEX Quest' in a video game: "Go collect these three gems and face hades in hell to rescue your mom." They sucked in video games and they sucked to watch in a movie; poorly at that.

This movie was honestly painful to watch. I do not recommend you wasting your time on it.

With critics and reviewers touting this series as "the next Harry Potter" one assumes that this film will feel similar but be charming enough to pass off as an acceptable substitute. The only problem is that this movie is a tired and lazy Harry Potter rip-off that lacks the character depth, creativity and charm that made the Harry Potter series so accessible to everyone.

I have to hand it to Rick Riordan (the author) for pulling off such a genius move. Riordan's books are the "Sorny" to Harry Potter's "Sony"; watching the film one can almost picture Riordan flipping through the Harry Potter books wondering "What Would Harry Do?" (henceforth known as WWHD). Let's look at our two protagonists:

Harry Potter - A confused teenager whose life seems to be falling apart until he is told that he is the son of a powerful man and woman, and that he is the only hope to stop a powerful man from waging war on the Earth. He is taken to a special place for people like him where he is taught how to use his skills. While there he befriends a skilled-but-rough-around-the-edges female and a male who is lovable but somewhat dumb and often the punchline of jokes.

Percy Jackson - A confused teenager whose life seems to be falling apart until he is told that he is the son of a powerful man, and that he is the only hope to stop a powerful man from waging war on the Earth. He is taken to a special place for people like him where he is taught how to use his skills. While there he befriends a skilled-but-rough-around-the-edges female and a male who is lovable but somewhat dumb and often the punchline of jokes.

Should work, right? Wrong. The film falls short in every possible way. Unlike J.K. Rowling, Riordan already had his idea given to him (BY J.K. Rowling), and he decided to throw it in a Greek mythology universe where he already had the lore and the characters written for him. Despite having to barely even write a book, Riordan is unable to create compelling characters and a story that makes you really care about what's going on. None of the characters are particularly likable and none of them grow throughout the course of the movie.

Because the movie tries to fit far too much into two hours each scene is rushed to where it feels as though, just as soon as you are starting to enjoy a scene, it's over. It also makes you feel like the protagonists can not possibly be doing what they're doing (Harry Potter defeating a troll is not as big of a stretch as Percy facing Medusa or a giant hydra and winning in what feels like a few moments) yet. There's never enough time to feel like the characters have grown and improved themselves, and so you're just kind of expected to believe everything you see.

The CGI in the film is, for lack of a better term, awful. The effects look like they're from a made-for-TV movie on USA, which is upsetting since the film uses it as a crutch so many times. When a film like this relies so much on the use of CGI it has to be done to where it's believable, and the CGI here just doesn't work at all.

All in all this film is a poorly written and rushed knock-off of Harry Potter. Will kids still enjoy it? Sure, and if you're only interested in entertaining kids then feel free. If you're not worried about that and just want to see kind of a "cute" film then I would look elsewhere, as this film just can not live up to what it's trying to emulate.

Having read the entire series, I can rightfully say that the movie does not fully follow the book. Yet it follows enough to get the point across. First, the casting, like that of Harry Potter, was amazing. Logan Lerman is an excellent Percy, and I could not think of a better Poseidon than Kevin McKidd.

The special effects were spectacular. The director had an interesting take on the underworld. The creatures were unbelievable. My head is still spinning as I try to figure out how they created the satyr, Grover, and the centaurs. Uma Thurman as Medusa, wow.

Overall, great movie for the family, young adult, and the lover of Greek Mythology. It was completely worth seeing the midnight premiere